Tuesday, Oct. 15

TUESDAY 10/15/13

The most recent version of the Tuesday is always available online at: http://www2.luther.edu/tuesday/

Published for faculty and staff by the Luther College Public Information office • Copy deadline: Friday, 3 p.m., 75-word limit • Phone: (563) 387-1865 • Email: <Tuesday>

Note: All campus telephone numbers are in the 563 area code, all campus email addresses end in @luther.edu • ©2013

To submit an item for the Tuesday click here.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

President Tiede Homecoming speech

President Tiede gave a speech titled "Promises to Keep," at the 2013 Homecoming banquet. For the full speech, see https://www2.luther.edu/president/speeches/homcoming2013/. 

'Connect' with Luther via new website

Keep up to date with Luther via the new "Connect" site: https://www2.luther.edu/connect. Go to one site for Luther's six social media platforms—Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, YouTube and Instagram. Watch live-streamed sports, chapel and lectures. Subscribe to any of Luther's more than 20 e-newsletters, such as sports updates, the Parents Newsletter, and the weekly Luther News. See what Luther faculty are talking about in their blog posts on topics such as education outside of the classroom, current events and influential books. For more information on the "Connect" site contact Tabita Green, <tabita.green> or 387-1902.

Ideas and Creations blog online

Have a look at the new Ideas and Creations blog, with recent posts by Rob Larson, Bob Shedinger, Philip Freeman, Kate Elliott and Martin Klammer, available at: https://www2.luther.edu/ideas-creations-blog/.

October staff meetings

The October staff meeting will consist of several updates as well as a presentation on responding to campus emergencies. The meeting will be offered twice in Peace Dining Room at 2 p.m. Wednesday, Oct. 16, and 9 a.m. Thursday, Oct. 17. All staff are encouraged to attend one of the sessions.

Fall Board of Regents meeting

The Board of Regents will meet Oct. 25-27. An agenda and pre-meeting materials can be viewed at http://katie.luther.edu. Look for the Board of Regents link under "My Courses," which is in the Navigation block.

Reminder: Tuition Benefit Program deadline Nov. 1

Luther is pleased to offer its faculty and staff a benefit that is highly unique in today's workplace: higher education for one's dependents. The Tuition Benefit program has a three-step application process available online.

Deadlines are as follows:

Step 1: Nov. 1, applications due
Step 2: Dec. 1, finalized list of colleges due
Step 3: May 15, confirmation form due

For complete information about the process and the application form, see: https://www2.luther.edu/hr/tuition/. Contact Scot Schaeffer, <schasc01> or 387-1430, with questions.

COLLEGE OPERATIONS

Admissions 'thank you' reception

Each year Luther College hosts more than 8,500 middle and high school students for camps, clinics, workshops and visit events. The campus visit is consistently rated as one of the most important aspects in the college decision process. It takes all of us to show students and their families what the Luther Community is: warm, welcoming and engaging.

Please join us for refreshments and conversation from 2-4 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 15, in the Admissions Visit Center. We’d like to thank you personally for everything you do in the recruitment process and introduce you to some of the new people working in the Admissions Office.

Fall break hours

Preus Library
Friday, Oct. 18: 7:30 a.m.-5 p.m.
Saturday-Sunday., Oct. 19-20: Closed
Monday-Tuesday, Oct. 21-22: 8 a.m.-5 p.m.
Wednesday, Oct. 23: 8 a.m.-midnight

Welcome Center/Dahl Centennial Union
Friday, Oct. 18: 7 a.m.-7 p.m.
Saturday-Sunday, Oct. 19-20: 8 a.m.-7 p.m.
Monday-Tuesday, Oct. 21-22: 7 a.m.-7 p.m.
Wednesday, Oct. 23: 7 a.m.-11 p.m.

Oneota Market
Friday, Oct. 18: 7:30 a.m.-3 p.m.
Saturday-Sunday, Oct 19-20: Closed
Monday-Wednesday, Oct. 21-23: 7:30 a.m.-3 p.m.

Cafeteria
Friday, Oct. 18: 7:30 a.m.-3 p.m.
Saturday-Sunday, Oct. 19-20: Closed
Monday-Wednesday, Oct. 21-23: 7:30 a.m.-3 p.m.

Marty's
Friday, Oct. 18: Closes at 5 p.m.
Saturday-Wednesday, Oct. 19-23: Closed
Thursday, Oct. 24: Resume regular hours, 10:30 a.m.-midnight

Book Shop
Friday, Oct. 18: 8:45 a.m.-4:45 p.m.
Saturday, Oct. 19: 10 a.m.-1:30 p.m.
Sunday, Oct. 20: Closed
Monday-Wednesday, Oct. 21-23: 8:45 a.m.-4:45 p.m.

Mail Center/SPO
Friday, Oct. 18: 9:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m.
Saturday-Sunday, Oct. 19-20: Closed
Monday-Wednesday, Oct. 21-23: 9:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m.

Free admission to Vesterheim

Did you know your Luther ID gives you free admission to Vesterheim Museum? Only a short walk from campus, Vesterheim is a national treasure that explores the diversity of American immigration through the lens of Norwegian-American experience. For information on hours and exhibits go to vesterheim.org.

Massages available

Massages are available at Health Service 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday for students and staff. Please call Health Service to make an appointment, 387-1045.

2013-14 massage prices:
Students: 30 minutes=$30
               60 minutes=$40
Staff:       30 minutes=$40
               60 minutes=$50

Health Service flu clinic

Health Service will conduct flu clinics for students and staff/faculty on the following dates:
8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Friday, Oct. 25
Noon-4 p.m. Friday, Nov. 1

Prices are $25 for injection and $30 for flu mist, cash or check only please. Students may apply to student account or pay at time of service.

United Way halfway to goal

As of last week the Luther community is halfway to our goal of $25,500. Thank you for your support. All gifts make a difference. 

Names will go in a drawling for all forms sent to Human Resources by Tuesday, Oct. 15. Drawing includes: Peace Brunch tickets, massages, Book Store gift certificate, Center Stage Series tickets and a vacation day. Contact Kelly Wedmann for a form.  

Music department releases two new CDs

Luther's music department has recently released two new recordings, Nordic Choir's "Go, Lovely Rose," and Jazz Orchestra's "Aquarela."

These two new CDs, as well as other Luther ensemble recordings are available for purchase at the Luther Book Shop, online at www.lutherbookshop.com or may be ordered over the phone by calling 1-888-521-5039.

New Luther Profile

Check out the new Luther Profile infographic.

Essay contest open to U.S. college students

The annual Abd el-Kader interfaith leadership essay contest is now underway. It is open to all U.S. college students, with a $1,500 prize going to the winning essay. Final essays are due on March 15. Further information is available at abdelkaderproject.org or my contacting Robert Shedinger, <shedinro> in the religion department.

NCUR applications due Nov. 8

Luther students are invited to submit abstracts for the 2014 National Conference on Undergraduate Research. Want to showcase research at a national conference? Luther will provide support for selected students to present at NCUR.

The conference is April 3-5, at the University of Kentucky. Applications for the on-campus selection process are due by 5 p.m. Friday, Nov. 8. Apply online at https://www2.luther.edu/academics/dean/honors/grants/NCUR/.

Rephotography campaign

In honor of American Archives Month, the Luther College Archives is sponsoring a rephotography campaign. Rephotography is when you take an historical photo and you re-create it with a modern spin. Look at how life at Luther has changed over time by viewing the Relive Luther Facebook photo album created by Archives and the Photo Bureau.

We invite you to join in the fun by re-creating or re-imagining some of our archival images. Post your rephotography on our Facebook page or email them to <archives>. We’ll add these to our Relive Luther Facebook photo album and each week we’ll pick one as our featured Throwback Thursday image.

Relive Luther photo album: http://bit.ly/reliveluther

Rephotography inspiration images: http://bit.ly/rephotographyinspiration

Celebrating 100 years of the Bishop Bang Collection

Founder's Day 2013, Oct. 14, marks the centennial for 5,000 books acquired for the Luther College library from the estate of the Norwegian Bishop Anton Christoph Bang. The collection was considered a first step towards a new library on campus. A display on the Main Floor of Preus Library features books authored and owned by Bang, including theology and church history, literature, history, and an important book of woodcuts depicting travel in the Holy Land.

Message from HR

Individuals that participated in the Lifeline Screening held Oct. 10 in the Borlaug Room and are on the Luther health insurance plan may submit a copy of their receipt to Midwest Group Benefits. The $55 will be applied to the deductible/out-of-pocket limits. 

Individuals that are on Luther's group Humana/retiree plan may obtain a reimbursement claim form from human resources. The cost will be reimbursed at the out-of-network rate of 70 percent. Please call 387-1134 for the Humana form.

TIAA Retirement Income Options session

Two sessions will be held to provide comprehensive discussion of all retirement income options offered by TIAA-CREF. These sessions will help employees identify which option best suits their needs, based upon their vision of retirement. Both sessions will be held in the Mott room, Dahl Centennial Union 9:45-10:45 a.m. Thursday, Oct. 31 and 9-10 a.m. Friday, Nov. 1. Please plan to attend. Questions may be directed to human resources, 387-1134.

Lunch hour yoga classes

Yoga is one of the best mid-day activities one can do during a workday to keep you energized throughout the day. Staff and faculty are invited to attend a 50-minute class led by Molly Lesmeister on Mondays and Wednesdays for six weeks, Oct. 28-Dec. 11, no class Thanksgiving week, in the CFA Studio II. Mats and props provided. To sign up, email Molly at [email protected] and indicate if you would prefer the 11:30 a.m. or 12:30 p.m. class. Class sizes are limited so sign up for a spot only if you can make most of the classes throughout the session.

Grounds

The college lawns on the upper campus will be fertilized and spot treated for broadleaf weeds, especially along sidewalks and curbs, beginning, Friday, Oct. 18. The fertilization process will begin during the day on Friday and spraying will take place after 5 p.m. and continue throughout the weekend, weather permitting. This procedure is in keeping with Luther's turf management policy. For a copy of the policy, contact Gary Brickman, 387-1668.

Green roof being installed

Facilities Services would like to share with all that a new, vegetative, green roof will be placed between Sampson Hoffland and Valders. The work on this roof will begin Tuesday, Oct. 15.

Traveling by airplane? 

A friendly reminder to all that travel by plane. Please remember to complete ACUPCC Carbon Footprint Air Travel Mileage Form. We gather information related to all faculty, staff and student air travel miles paid for and/or reimbursed by the college. Luther College is committed to keeping an inventory of its greenhouse gas emissions as part of the process to reduce our carbon footprint.

Catering delivers

The Catering department would like to remind everyone that there is no delivery charge for on campus catering events.

Halloween helpers needed

Res Life is seeking faculty and staff to help with a long-standing Decorah tradition – trick-or-treating in the first-year residence halls.There is a concert on Oct. 31 that we anticipate will be popular with students, so we are looking for other Luther folks to help us in Brandt, Ylvisaker or Olson from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. If this sounds like fun, and you are willing to bring a bag or two of candy, email Renee Bay <bayre01>.

EVENTS

Events this week

Oct. 15, Center Stage Series, Tango Fire, 7:30 p.m., Center for Faith and Life, Main Hall

Oct. 25, Faculty Artist Series, Karen Kanakis, Jacob Lassetter, Eric Ashcraft and Jessica Paul, 7 p.m., Jenson-Noble Hall of Music, Noble Recital Hall

Oct. 25, SAC Spotlight/Diversity Performance, Jared Mahone, 7:30 p.m., Dahl Centennial Union, Marty’s CyberCafé

Chapel this week

Wednesday, Oct. 16:  Amy Zalk Larson
Friday, Oct. 18
:  Maren Stumme-Diers
Monday, Oct. 21
:  Fall Break, No Chapel

Woman's Club Meeting Oct. 15

A. Victor Collins, Iowa honey producer, presents the Luther College Woman's Club program "Fall in Love with a Honey Bee Today" at 1:30 p.m., Tuesday, Oct. 15 in Peace Dining Room, Dahl Centennial Union. All welcome. Childcare available by calling 382-4808 or 382-4674. Shuttle service from Decorah Swimming Pool parking lot available - pick-up time 1:10 p.m.

Center Stage Series: Tango Fire

The Argentinian dance company Tango Fire will perform at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 15 in the Center for Faith and Life Main Hall. Tickets available at the Luther College Ticket Office. A workshop in conjunction with Luther Ballroom/Swing on the basics of Argentine Tango will take place at 9:40 a.m. Tuesday, Oct. 15, in Studio II of the Center for the Arts.  The workshop is open to the public with no charge for admission.

Learn more about the music of 'Tango Fire'

Michael O'Brien, an ethnomusicologist with more than a decade of experience researching and playing tango music in Argentina, will be offering a pre-performance talk about the history and culture of tango music and dance starting at 6:45 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 15 in the Mott Room at Dahl Centennial Union. Then come on over to the CSS Tango Fire performance at 7:30 p.m. in the CFL Main Hall.

LIS hosts EDUCAUSE online conference Oct. 16-18

LIS is offering access to the online EDUCAUSE annual conference, Oct. 16-18. Sessions cover topics related to educational technology and are geared towards administrators, faculty, librarians and IT professionals. More information on sessions to be shown is available at https://www2.luther.edu/lis/blog/?story_id=501484.

FAS: Karen Kanakis, Eric Ashcraft, Jacob Lassetter and Jessica Paul

Luther College's Karen Kanakis, soprano; Eric Ashcraft, tenor; Jacob Lassetter, baritone, and Jessica Paul, piano, will perform a recital as part of Luther's Faculty Artist Series at 7 p.m. Friday, Oct. 25, in the Noble Recital Hall. The recital is a celebration of the 200th birthday of the esteemed Italian opera composer Giuseppe Verdi. The recital is open to the public with no charge for admission.

SAC Spotlight/Diversity: Jared Mahone

Join singer-songwriter Jared Mahone for a night of acoustic, soulful tunes at 7:30 p.m. Friday, Oct. 25, in Marty's CyberCafé. Tickets are $5, available at the door the night of the show or at the Luther Ticket Office, telephone (563) 387-1357 or tickets.luther.edu.

Mahone's songs are filled with genuinely thoughtful lyrics and funk. His original style, soulful vocals and unbelievable beat box make him impossible to forget. Producer Jerry DePizzo, Grammy award winning mix engineer, Mike Landolt and Brian Lucey, created his new full-length album.

Art exhibit: Kirsten Malcolm Berry

An art exhibit featuring New Testament calligraphic paintings by Minneapolis artist Kirsten Malcolm Berry will be on display Oct. 25 through Dec. 8 on the second floor of the Center for Faith and Life. The exhibit is open to the public with no charge for admission. 

Berry's art is inspired by images from the New Testament. Integrated into each painting is the Bible verse on which the piece is based, written in Greek.

Faculty Artist Series: Luther College Piano Quartet

The Luther College Piano Quartet, an ensemble featuring Joseph Kromholz, violin; Spencer Martin, viola; Eric Kutz, cello; and Miko Kominami, piano, will perform a concert at 4 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 27, in the Noble Recital Hall. The concert is open to the public with no charge for admission.

Art exhibit: Susan Coleman

Pastels and paintings by Mount Vernon, Iowa, artist Susan Coleman will be on display Oct. 28-Dec. 13 in Preus Library. The exhibit, "Points of Departure in the Landscape," is open to the public with no charge for admission.

Coleman sees her work as a meditation, drawing on her memories, questions, and attempts to settle her ever-shifting perceptions. The artist says her goal is to go beyond the merely scenic aspect of landscape. 

UMACS regional conference held at Luther Nov. 8-9

The Upper Midwest Association for Campus Sustainability is holding its fifth regional conference at Luther Nov. 8-9. Luther faculty, staff and students may attend the conference for no charge. It is a great opportunity to connect with colleagues from other schools and learn more about what is happening in sustainability around the region. With panels and posters ranging from topics in local foods and renewable energy to vermiculture and permaculture there's something for everyone to explore. For more information about the conference and to register, go to http://www.umacs.org/.

Student recitals

Kelsey Smith '14, will perform a cello recital at 4 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 26.

Victoria LaCroix '14, will perform a voice recital at 7 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 26

Hannah Taylor '14, will perform a piano recital at 8 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 26.

Alex Robinson '14, will perform a bassoon recital at 2 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 27.

Student recitals are held in the Noble Recital Hall with a reception following each performance. Student recitals and receptions are open to the public with no charge for admission.

ARTICLES, CREATIONS, HONORS, etc.

Todd Green gave a presentation at the Danish American Heritage Society Conference in Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 12. The title of his presentation was "In Search of a Danish Islam: Exploring the Challenges of Muslim Identity and Integration in Contemporary Denmark."

“Hours with Amanda,” a five-minute documentary film featuring Amanda Hamp '01 and produced by Thomas C. Johnson and Michael Crowe ’13, has been chosen as an official selection for the Mt. Hood Independent Film Festival.

Lauren Kientz Anderson presented a paper "Interracialism and Black Political Thought in the Interwar Era," at the New England Historical Association on Oct. 12, held at Albertus Magnus College in New Haven, Conn.

Nancy Gates Madsen presented her paper, "The Power of Silence in Sites of Memory in Argentina: Jonathan Perel's El Predio," at the North Central Council of Latin Americanists Conference on Friday, Sept. 27 in Stevens Point, Wis.

Char Kunkel was a panelist for Community Conversations of Rochester Issues Forum, Wednesday, Oct. 2, at the Heinz Center which was titled "What have we learned from the George Zimmerman verdict?" and focused what we learned and what this means for our future. The event was organized by Sheila Kiscaden, Olmsted County Commissioner.

Don Jones was a member of a panel presentation at the Marketing Management Association Fall Conference in New Orleans, Sept. 18-20. The panel presentation was titled “Marketing Ethics: Critical Incidents, Role Play and Other Strategies.”

Three mixed-media works created by David Kamm in response to the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings in Newtown, Conn. have been selected for a juried national exhibition titled "Is this Freedom?" The exhibition will take place Nov. 6-Dec. 13, at Rogue Community College in Portland, Ore.  

Andy Hageman published the essay "Dead Whale Watching" in the journal Evental Aesthetics, view at: http://eventalaesthetics.net/current-issue/. He also presented a paper called "Astronauts, Radio-Waves, & Crypts" at the Annual Society for Literature, Science and the Arts Conference held at Notre Dame.

COMMUNITY

Decorah Masters Swim Team

The Decorah Masters Swim Team is getting underway. Anyone 18 or over, any level of swimmer, fitness swimmer, triathlete, beginner swimmer or those who want to compete, welcome. Contact Stephanie Huber, coach, at [email protected] or 419-1951 for more information, or stop by any Wednesday night practice, 6:30-7:30 p.m., to check it out. Workout schedule or info also available at the Luther Aquatic Center, 387-1821. 

New employees/transfers

Beth Phillips transferred to the Custodial Department Sept. 26. Her office is at Facilities Services, telephone 387-1145.

Abby Switzer began her position as Des Moines Admissions Counselor on Sept. 14. Her office is the Des Moines Regional Office, telephone (515) 330-2774.

Rachel Moser began her position as Administrative Assistant in the Financial Aid Office on Oct. 7. Her office is Main 27, telephone 387-1019.

MISCELLANEOUS

Adult swim lessons

The Luther swim team is offering swimming lessons for adults from 12-12:40 p.m. Oct. 21-25 or 7-7:40 p.m. Oct. 21-Nov. 18, Mondays. $50 for five sessions, includes entry fee to pool for sessions. Anything outside of that will require a community pass. Primary skills and stroke introduction. Purpose: to help adults feel comfortable in the water. Skills: water adjustment, front and back float, introduction to front crawl, back crawl and breaststroke. For adults 18 and up with little or no experience in the water. Call 387-1821 or email Bethany Nicoll, <nicobe01>, for more information or to sign up.

UNCLASSIFIED ADS

Wanted: Deer ticks. Are you a magnet for deer ticks? Put them to use for science! We are researching the prevalence of Lyme disease, anaplasma, and Babesia in local deer ticks. Drop us a note and we'll give you vials to save your ticks so that we can grind them up. Contact Ellen <behrel01>.

Wanted: Piano bench, any color. Cushion or just wood does not matter, for 11 year old son who has been playing piano for a couple of years. Contact 379-6775.

For sale: Curio cabinet, full-length beveled glass door, mirrored back, five glass shelves with plate grooves, downlighting, curved glass side panels. Measures 77 inches high x 14 inches deep x 34 inches wide. Excellent condition. Call 534-7724/380-7724.

Available: House cleaning service. I am available to clean houses in the Decorah area. Please contact Sharon <hageju01>, 382-3978 or 379-6070.

Free: Maytag wringer washer. You pick up. Contact <davismar>.

For sale: Barely used snowblower, $300. Electric start, 5.5 horsepower, two-stage 24-inch clearing-yard machine. Contact <puffro01>.

For sale: Paving stones. 18"x18"x 1.5" Silver Creek Slate style cast concrete paving stones. 64 stones will cover approximately 125 square feet for a patio or provide stepping stones within a grassy landscape. Wholesale cost is $12.50 per piece. We will sell for $8 per piece. Please call Jane, 419-3519.

For sale: 2010 Ford Escape Luxury edition, blue, for sale. 36,500 miles, no accidents, all maintenance performed, four-cylinder, front wheel drive. Beautiful well-maintained car with heated leather seats, and great gas mileage, 21 mpg in town, 28 mpg highway, I've averaged just under 24 mpg. Kelly Blue Book value $16,385, looking for a reasonable offer. Contact to view and test drive, 380-7660 or <rincol01>.

For sale: Metal storage shelves. Two four-shelf, four-foot storage shelves for sale. Lightly used for 10 years. $15 each; $25 for both. Contact <chrija02>.

For sale: Port-a-crib with matching oak changing table, simple, efficient design. Schwinn DX900 stationary bike. White, like new, with book/magazine holder attachment. Call Darla, 382-2614.

Wanted: Brick donors. Engrave a brick at the Humane Society Adoption Center. Each $250 donation to the Adoption Center Capital Campaign comes with an engraved brick that will be forever displayed on the front of the building, to be built Spring of 2014 on Millennium Road in Decorah. Bricks can be engraved with three lines of type, 15 characters per line (a space counts as a character). See www.hsnei.org for more details or email <kimpowell>. These are a wonderful way to honor a human or animal.

For sale: Three-bedroom ranch home on 1.3 acres, three miles south of Decorah on Hwy 52. In Decorah School District.  Many updates, including granite counter tops. Rental income potential.  Listed with Harmon realty. For more information: http://www.harman2020.com/residential/880163490-211184/2222-u-s-hwy-52-decorah-ia-52101.

For sale: 2000 Ford Ranger. $995 OBO, 30 MPG. Five-speed, regular cab, two-wheel drive, two owner truck, clean engine, aftermarket CD deck with USB port. High mileage. Multiple mechanical improvements include recent rear brakes, front-end overhaul in 2012, emergency break, and rear window re-seal). Priced to sell. Contact: <bazyma01> or Scott N. 380-1904 after 2 p.m.

Found: VW key found in Olin 106. Please stop by Olin 327 between 8 a.m.-3 p.m. to claim.

Found: Are you missing a jacket? One was left in the Career Center following a workshop on Tuesday, Oct. 8. Stop by to claim.

Tickets available: The Northeast Iowa Montessori school will host their second annual fundraiser, Around the World in Five Plates from 5-9 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 27 at the historic Steyer Opera House in Hotel Winneshiek. Chefs from Hotel Winneshiek, La Rana, Water Street Café, The Angry Pickle and Rubaiyat will prepare fabulous flavors of international cuisine with live music by Maritza for dancing. Tickets are $85/couple and $50/single—tax deductible at $50/$25 respectively. Tickets are available from Brooke Shields, <brookhart.shields> or 387-1681, or at the Oneota Coop. Proceeds go towards funds used to purchase the building where the school currently resides.

EDITORIAL COMMENT

LIS tip of the week

You can now renew many library items online yourself. For more information, visit www2.luther.edu/helpdesk/tips.

And finally...

Today is national grouch day and national I Love Lucy day... take your pick which one you need today: 

"No, no more, Slimey. That was a lot of excitement for a little worm. You get some rest and we'll read some more tomorrow. [to the camera] You're still here? Hey, why don't you go read a book or something? Now scram!" -Oscar the Grouch

"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball